This Is Exhausting – JK

Please don’t let me die tonight

Just shoot me a text back for one time

I’ve been cut down and you’re not around

My problems to you now are second place

Some days I say I’m fine and fantastic as actual

Though upon others the factual is I’m here alone

Now what am I to do with myself with no one around

Yes it is 2:36 A.M August 31’st 2019

I need a fix to discuss with you about how I’m in need of you

Upon this moment I don’t breath without the thought of death

Something I can’t help but crave to take me away

This life hurts me so bad and now I can’t even be me

The color red soothes me along with the class biology

Something I always failed to realize before I left this world

This decision is something simple but I still wait for your reply

So hopefully I can rise out of the grave I already dug

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Demon – JK

I can see your shadow creeping up on me

Ready to take a bite and kill me slowly

But I won’t fight with you anymore

You’re the one who shut the door

The hex you once cast on me is broken

I’m finally independent moving on from this

Once you had the right to break me

Though you get the shakes now when I tell you no

Bird – JK

Good morning pessimism how are you

I thought we could split ways just for one day I have things to do

Though knowing you you’ll stay holed up in my brain

Cause me to go insane and bring me to tears

That’s just the other stain on the glass

I gotta wake up from this hellish dream we call life

Walking on eggshells when we try to step up

Please take me into your special place and feel the ground

Just for an escape from all this sound to meet face to face

But I hope melancholy can leave us be for the night

Its hard having this fight constantly with myself

Because its always I am me and you are you but you are I

Deep within my veins you whisper me off to sleep with the sheep

For you are the pastor which guides my way

So today I ask you please let me free upon this tree

To set my wings loose for the jump I’m about to make

The Soul World – JK

I swear I could have everything I dreamed of and still be sad

All because my brain don’t work like the norm

My mom’s telling to stop all the swearing and put my face in a book

Just to learn a few new words but I’d rather write my own story

It never seems to finish no matter how much I try

Always fading after chapter two in my life

That’s the part that seemingly comes after you

When my heart got taken away from the rapture you brought on

Getting lost within all the drugs that whisper to me I’ll be fine

My headphones and pen bring me euphoria which seems to die quickly now

Where should I go for my weekly fix to keep my mind on this power point

These are my stories so that hopefully one day I finish my book

The garbage I spew is everything I am even though you don’t get it

My words are my soul and way of expressing who I truly am

Phantom Highs – JK

My soul has splinters and my innards are spewed on the canvas

I only like to write when life gives a sour taste

Now my brain needs a mechanic because apparently I’m dramatic

Let me disappear and escape from all this commotion

I’ll move to the ocean only to drown within frowns

You seem so sad is all they want to say when today I want to die

But I’m in disarray within this place I call a shrine

Someone just needs to give me a hug and tell me I’ll be well

I’ve already dug this pit so get ready to wear black

Love was beautiful but it left me alone in a stairwell

I’m not an artist because my medium is my carcass

Contemplation – JK

My face turns blue

My neck has an itch

My throat feels choked

My lungs gasp for air

My arms reach up

My hands grasp the nylon

My legs swing and kick

My mind goes blank

The chair lays on its side

Whatever helps – JK

I can’t even tell if I’m hurt

I just wanna make my mamma proud before I go die

Life is moving so fast around me and I can’t find time to cry

The air has been so warm and skies are so blue

So why do I feel so down

By now I should’ve turned into a beautiful butterfly

But I’m still just a caterpillar crawling on the ground

These poems don’t even make sense

All they do is help me put on a smile